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Post No. 9: A death in the family
By Bill Unsworth

A decision to be made: Travel to the funeral or not?

 

Monday, Sept 4

I'm no longer sick, guess it was a 24 hour bug. I am very tired and worn out. I slept until 9:30 am, spent most of the day lying around. I did eat a meal at dinner.

 

There is no change in Mom.

 

Tuesday, Sept. 5

Guess I spoke too soon. I woke up at 2:30 am and had the lower gastrointestinal problems again. I was up every hour or so until 9:30 a.m. To top this off Linda caught it and is throwing up. She doesn't have it too bad; she is mostly sleeping. I was able to go out to the drug store and get some over the counter meds which I took to stop the lower abdominal distress I have. Hope it works.

 

My sister called and said the hospice social worker said the time is near, maybe a couple of days at the most for my mother. I hope I can get over to see Mom tomorrow.

 

Wednesday, Sept. 6

Mom passed this morning a bit after 6 a.m. It was very peaceful, and she just slipped away. My sister, niece and I were with her. I feel blessed that I was able to be with her.

 

She is going to be buried in Oklahoma next Saturday. Right now I don't know if I'm going to be able to go, because of my hip replacement. I'm concerned about being in the confined space of a car or airplane. The plane trip is at least two hours and the car trip is about 13 to 15 hours. The big concern is the formation of blood clots. I have my six week appointment with Frank tomorrow, so I'm sure I'll have that question answered. We are going to have a memorial mass this Saturday here in Indiana, so if I miss the funeral so be it.

 

I haven't been out for a walk since I've been sick. I'm still tired. I hope I'll walk tomorrow. I won't be lifting until Friday at the earliest.

 

Thursday, Sept. 7

I went out this morning and walked around the addition four-and-a-half times. I didn't time it; it felt good to be back walking again.

 

I went to my six-week check up, they took x-rays. Frank said everything looked good. Looking at the x-ray, he showed me the differences in the hip prosthesis. This new one has a thinner cup which enabled them to put in a bigger "ball" and the stem is shorter so they didn't have to "ream out" the femur as much. The reaming of the femur causes a great deal of pain -- pain that I didn't have this time.

 

I am off many of the hip precautions. I don't need the pillow between my legs when I sleep -- I'll still do it since I've been using one since my first surgery. I can bend at the waist more, so I don't need to sit on the pad any more. For me sitting on the pad has become a pain, and I'm glad I don't have to any more. I just don't want to sit on anything too low or soft. I drove home with the pad, but after I stopped for gas I took it out and drove a few blocks to the house. It was really wild: I felt as if I were sitting on the pavement.

 

I can go back to every day living, bending and the like. I do have to remember that when I bend over everything must take place between my feet. I must keep my hands between the feet when I'm putting on socks or shoes, never one hand on the inside and the other on the outside of a foot. I need to make sure when I stand up I don't "hunch over" but stand with my head back (as if I'm rising from a squat).

 

I told Frank about my Mom's passing and the funeral in Oklahoma. He said I was at the point where I could go if I wanted. Driving or flying is not a problem; the chance for me developing blood clots is the same as it will be 10 years form now. This is something Linda and I will discuss later today. I don't have to see Frank again until June

 

After lunch my sister and I will try to finish getting Mom's things in order. I mowed the lawn and trimmed when I got back. It wasn't too bad. I did fall asleep during the

Steelers-Dolphins game. When I woke up it was the third quarter and I was so tired I just went to bed.

 

Friday, Sept. 8

I got up early and walked five times around my usual route in 46 minutes. I ate, read the paper and then went on my stationary bike for 30 minutes (first time since the surgery). I rode at level three and got my heart rate up to 95 to100 beats per minute. I rode at a 15 mph pace, nothing severe. Yesterday Frank told me I could go on the bike, but I'd probably be sore as heck after. It felt really good and as of yet I haven't felt any pain.

 

He also said I could go back into the weight room with a regular workout. The only thing I can't do is put any pressure on the soles of my feet (i.e. Leg presses, squats, ect). I'll go back Monday morning.

 

I've decided not to go to Oklahoma for Mom's funeral, with all the things I'd have to do to make the trip tolerable it's really not worth it. I was with her as she passed, and I'll be at the Memorial Mass tomorrow -- so that's all I need.

 

Saturday, Sept. 9 The memorial Mass was at 10 a.m. and it went very well, Mom would have liked it. There were some of my boyhood friends; my best friend (he was my best man), his wife and some friends from our high school reunion committee, friends of my Mom's from where she worked and people from the parish. It meant a lot to our family that they were there.

 

I didn't walk. I went home when it was over and just crashed. 

 



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